he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
