it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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