i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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