U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
