hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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