He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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