Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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