But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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