You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
