Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
