Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
