Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
