I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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