hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
