Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
