You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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