So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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