You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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