I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
