I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
