she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
