I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize