did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
