We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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