She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
