Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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