someone get that fucking seahorse.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
