His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
