You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
youre lurking in front of me
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
