hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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