i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
