Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wish my penis had a tongue
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
