its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
dude. I can hear the air.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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