you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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