Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
