It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
