I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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