don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
How's work?
Spinning.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
