goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
