idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This house was built for laser tag.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
