If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i out mim tonsoeep
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