I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
