So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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