therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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