If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
