Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
