i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
