I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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