so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
