so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
