I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize