uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
His nipple licking is glorious
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