I wannas sexs uuuuu
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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