So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
