This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
