I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize