ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
