I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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