What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
