Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
