I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
