Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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