Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize