We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
