were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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