thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
