May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
