just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
