wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
