The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
as a side note pls kill me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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